I'm determined to get my Wishcast in while it is still Wednesday!
I'm getting over a rather nasty drug reaction to a new prescription, which has slowed me down, and I also was forced to do a lot of surprise yard work to do today, so I've had a lot of time to contemplate about what Jamie asked us this morning.
And I'm still going with what came to me in the darkness right before the dawn, when the birds were warming up the brisk air with their first songs to greet the sun. My favorite time of day.
This morning, I read, "Large or small, financial or otherwise, what do you wish to invest in?" I have to admit, my long time reactionary wall started to go up, with me thinking of a dozen things at once, and immediately dismissing them for one reason or another, with the end result that I had more things to think about already. I didn't need one more.
She couldn't completely rule my Dad, but she made a good effort, so he usually stayed up all night to work on his art. He also held down a full time job, working second shift if possible, so that he could sleep in the morning.
But with me, her only child, she could and did dictate what I did, and when I did it. I loved watching my Dad create magic, but of course, I couldn't stay up all night, nor can I do so now. I am, and always have been a morning person. As I said, it is my favorite time of day. So my Dad's rhythm wouldn't work for me.
My personal childhood forays into the art world were restricted to times after all of my other responsibilities were caught up, or completed, AND if there was still time, before bed, or other activities, AND I was still in the inspirational mood. It was hard to have all of the stars aligned just right.
My Dad left when I was in my early teens, leaving me to struggle under my Mom's influence. And while I know that I'm a failure in her eyes, for many reasons, not the least of which is that a continually spotless house is not high on my list of accomplishments, I've also had to fight that lifelong mantra that everything else comes before creating art, so that when I do sit down, my mind is thinking of everything else that I "should" be doing instead, so I'm not getting the full benefit of peacefulness and enjoyment that I am seeking.
Combine that with the added immediate needs of my darling Hubs, and yes, my aging Mom (86 yrs. old), and I'm more strapped for Freedom Time. I'm finding that once again, like I've done nearly my whole life, my creative side is shutting down. I'm closing that door. I don't want to, but it is too painful and frustrating, which I don't need. And now, my body is physically suffering for it. My Doctors are telling me what I've known for a long time. That I need to find ways to decompress, to de-stress, to exercise, and to find time for myself, to do what I love to do, for myself. Ooookaaaayyy!! I'll get right on it! However, they fail to tell me how to add some more hours into my awake and ALERT time!
So yes, I wish to invest in some guilt free, quality time, to be used for creating art.
What are you wishing for today?
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